Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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