Cold hands, warm shart.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
