Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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