can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
PANTIES FOUND
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