Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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