At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
