What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
