SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
