i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
