been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
