a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
