How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
