Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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