Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
