tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
