FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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