Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
