Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
