bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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