so explain again why im purple
no
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
