I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
