Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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