Nicole vs. Life
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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