you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He passed out mid-signature
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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