halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
