he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
