mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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