whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
