So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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