then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
be right there i have to get my cape
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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