The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
