We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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