How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
