At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
