Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
