I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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