Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
