I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
