I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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