How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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