I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
