U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
