please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
