why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
