Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
