i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
