No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Acid is not a monday night drug
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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