oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
