He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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