I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
