oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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