this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
