I love black thongs
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
