he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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