You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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