sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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