i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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